All posts by Monna

May 12
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Happy Birthday Mom-in-Law!

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My MIL’s Easter Cactus

I’m on a Mother kick lately, I guess, since my last post was about a Mother. But this one is a little different. Today is my mother-in-law’s birthday and she’s a pretty great person. This is my “Happy Birthday” message to her.

My mom-in-law and I have several things in common…We are both vocalists (she has an Ah-Mazing soprano voice). We both enjoy gardening. We are both committed fully to our families. We are both romantics at heart. And, interestingly, we both tend to be a little introverted when we’re not performing.

Born in the South, my MIL still retains some characteristics of that culture. She is a lovely woman and dresses beautifully and appropriately for every occasion (JUST like ME! – flip flops are cool for church right?) She is reserved with her opinion (Totally like me!). She is a super hostess and throws terrific parties. She babysits and cooks for us regularly and frequently and the grandkids *A-DORE* her.  I can always count on her to come to my concerts. When my parents were ill, she offered regular meals, prayers and love to not only me but to my whole family. She is generous – to a fault – with her time and money to people who are in need, family or not.

All of these things and more, recommend this lady as a wonderful mother-in-law. But what I most appreciate about her is that even when we don’t share the same opinion on something, she goes out of her way to be respectful and supportive.  Because of this, our relationship has grown into a loving, healthy one. And, I can honestly say that I see her as more than just my husband’s mother or my children’s gram. I truly love her and consider her my dear friend.

May 08
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Mother…

By | Spirit | One Comment
 http://mek32390.fatcow.com/mother-earth-remixes-dirt-off-your-shoulder-vs-beverly-hills-mashup/

Sitting here at my computer after a day that seemed interminable,
teary toward the end.
The moon is waning and so is my energy,
my soul is tired.
It was a day when I would have loved to phone my mom and just hear her voice –
But she is not here in body.

So, I sit –
face covered in Earth,
sipping a nectar made of flowers
that came forth from the same womb which birthed me,
and my limbs begin to relax,
comforted by the thought that there is another Mother I can still touch,
one who offers physical comfort and rest when I need it most.

Thank you…

May 04
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Give without Remembering

By | Spirit | One Comment

Give without Remembering. I saw this sign on the way home last night just as I was thinking about this very topic. Lately, I’ve had several opportunities to give something of myself  – time, encouragement or more tangible support – to another person when I knew it would not result in any kind of reciprocity.

Now, in my experience, this can be a tricky situation to navigate. Generally speaking, it’s good to give freely with no expectations. The major religions of the world teach that giving without expecting anything in return is a spiritual discipline. In the New Testament, Luke 6:35 “love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.” Matthew 6:3 says, “but when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” Now that’s hardcore.

But sometimes, it’s easy to slip into the role of the person who is always there for everyone else but who doesn’t take care of herself – especially as a parent. Many times, I have fallen into this latter category to the degree that I didn’t have any energy left to spend on taking care of myself, spiritually, physically or emotionally. Of course, after a while I learned that leaving so little for me meant I didn’t have anything left to give anyone else.

Just to clarify, I’m not putting myself up as some kind of saint who just worked herself to the bone for the rest of the world. But I am saying that learning when to give and learning when to step back and let someone else have a turn may also be a form of spiritual wisdom. So, right now, I’m learning about how to balance this practice in my own life. I think that’s why I’ve had opportunities lately to choose when I can give and when I have to step back and be sure I’m refilling my own spiritual, physical and emotional energy tank.

Anyone else struggle with this?

Apr 28
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The Sweet Scent of Friendship

By | Honest Mothering | No Comments

Yesterday started just like any other beautiful day. My youngest woke, cheerful and smiling, then leaned over me to wake our four year old. I enjoyed the moment as they greeted each other with laughter. Then, my smallest looked up and said as clear as day, “Ceiling!” Twice. I was so proud. She’s really speaking so well – even using phrases! Then, she said it again – and squinted her eyes like she was looking at something. I glanced in that direction – and did a double take. She was looking at something. A BIG, yucky something crawling slowly down our wall. First cockroach of the season. UGH. (Big shudder!!)

And so our day began.

After the chaos and squeals of horror (the girls’ and mine) that ensued when I dispatched the nasty thing, we decided we’d all feel much better if we showered. Aaaah. We were soon dressed and ready for breakfast. Since my husband had to leave the house early, I was on my own getting everyone fed, dressed, packed and out of the house on time. I must have kicked myself into supermom mode because we weren’t rushed and I got to storytime (my Tuesday job) early. Despite the “ucky” start to my day, it went great!

The rest of the day moved between typical blips of normal busy-ness, stressed mom and moments of fun. Busy – trying to get my girls home so my youngest could take a morning nap – and missing my window of opportunity. Fun – laughter watching my girls play. Stress – because I made a ridiculously complicated lunch, knowing the cleanup would make getting out of the house on time tight. Busy – racing to clean up before leaving. Fun – watching my very unstressed four year old, SSLLLOOOWWWLLLYYY dance and sing her way to the car (when we needed to leave!). Irked (at myself) – when I realized we were running a few minutes late. Fun – watching my daughter and her friends make up their own dance moves to the music from Sharktales. By the time the day ended, we were all tired and I was ready for a break.

So, I planned to use my “night out” to work on my blog, surf sites I love and just veg at my favorite coffee shop. Instead, I impulsively called a friend from college. We’ve been trying to connect for a while but between small fry, work and life in general, we have had trouble finding time. Amazingly, she was free too – so instead of blogging, I shut off my computer and we visited for hours. And I’m so glad we did.

This friend is a one cool woman. She is intellectually stimulating, funny, optimistic, thoughtful, strong and compassionate.The kind of woman you want your daughters to know and emulate. The kind of person I want to know and emulate.

We had a great time. For me, conversations like this are so few and far between in these days occupied with diapers, cleaning, babies and routine.We stayed up late, relishing the intoxicating feeling of connecting with a person with whom we could each be completely honest. Though we talked long past my bedtime, when we parted with laughter and a hug, I felt refreshed and reminded of who I really am, not just what I do all day.

I guess I just wanted to capture this moment in writing and not take for granted how awesome it is to have a friend who can not only handle who I am, she actually loves me for it.

Friendship. What a rare and powerful gift.