Category Archives: Live NOW

Is there such thing as being too frugal? You’d have had a hard time convincing me of it a few months ago. My mother and her mother before her were practiced at sacrificing and saving for their families’ financial welfare. My Grandma Verna survived what we call the “Great Depression” so she had money saving tips that boggle the mind, including washing and reusing bread bags and reusing paper napkins for at least two meals. My mom wasn’t far behind her in practicing frugality and early on I saw the wisdom of their habits. Neither had debt, both paid off their homes and saved for the future.

As a mom, I often find myself giving up something special that I want for the sake of my family’s needs or perceived needs. I prioritize bills against other things we need and push those things further down the list. As we provide (on a single income) for our small children, who eat an astonishing amount of food, I find myself giving up things I need for myself, like attractive clothing, dinners out with friends and even makeup. There have been bigger ones too – like the birthday money I received toward a “real” camera that I had to spend on an unexpected bill. That was three years ago and I still don’t have the camera.

I am circumspect about these choices and recognize them as a necessary part of my decision to trade a more comfortable income with the chance to stay home and enjoy every minute of my children’s preschool experience. And, I can honestly say, I am content.

But, since a rather life changing experience in February when I spent some time in critical condition due to a severe miscarriage hemorrhage, my outlook has changed. For those of you who have read my blog for a while, I don’t want to harp on this excessively, but quite frankly, feeling my life almost seep out between my legs drastically affected my perspective. I emerged with a profound gratitude to be alive and a fierce determination to wring every drop from this intoxicating drink called life. I find myself saying, “Yes!” a lot more and taking every opportunity to connect with people, long time friends and strangers. And, I’m doing things for me that I had previously put off to “someday”.

Before my mom died, she gave me money for a birthday and I told her I couldn’t decided whether to buy a beautiful quilt I loved or get a jump on some other financial obligation.

Mom surprised me by saying, “Sweetie, you know I believe in being frugal. I have spent a lot of my life giving up things I want to support our family and I’ve never regretted it. But, I hope you’ll get that quilt because you need to have a little fun along with the responsibility.”

Like a typical daughter, I listened but I still did what I thought was right. I didn’t get the quilt.

This year, I feel differently. When we had a little extra income a month ago, I did something extravagant. I spent money on ME and bought a bike. A brand new, sparkly, lavender bike. My husband threatened to pick it himself when I teetered on the edge of “No”. I’ve been riding around like a little kid ever since and am relishing the freedom, alone time and exercise it’s brought to me.

Friends, I am not advocating being unwise or thoughtless with your finances. I still believe in saving, making smart choices and shopping at thrift stores (it’s like a treasure hunt!). My purchase didn’t require a credit card or compromising my ability to buy groceries.

But, I discovered that I believe in one pass at this life and I want to find a way to feel it all. I want the beauty along with the ugly, the hope along with the pain. And, in this case, the bike along with helmet (even though that’s a double positive). Taking hold of life does not necessarily require spending more money – but it does require our taking advantage of the moment we’re in and being the fullest version of ourselves.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend and that you are enjoying every bit of the life you’re leading. If you’re looking for me, I will be riding my bike!

Hasn’t the full moon been just gorgeous this week? I feel a close affinity to that glowing nocturnal bulb. As she gracefully moves through different phases each month, I recognize a pattern in my own body and spirit. Every month, not just once or twice a  year, she retreats into darkness before returning to the her fullest brilliance. As a woman, I need a similar reprieve every month to access the most brilliant parts of myself, spiritually, physically and mentally.

Wouldn’t you love a monthly pause to recharge and renew your spirit, get a few extra hours of sleep and refocus your mind? Guess what? Your body’s already got one scheduled if you’ll just check the calendar! If you’re past childbearing years, you simply need to create one for yourself.

In my family, strong women didn’t need to seek solitude several days each month during a monthly cycle. I’m remedying that misunderstanding of strength by talking to my own daughters about our need as women for regular rest and I use the moon as a visual.

When the Moon is dark, my daughters believe that She is taking a nap, in preparation for the time She needs to shine Her brightest. When She is full they know She has shown up for work. I love how they exclaim in delight at the way She shimmers in the sky. My four-year-old already knows that a monthly menstruation is more of a time of magic and healing that something to dread.

But, the moon is more than just a visual example of monthly rest for us as women. Before the invention of artificial light, women ovulated and bled according to the moon’s phases each month. That’s a lot of women having their periods at the same time. Whoooo-eeee!!

According to the history of some cultures, women came together in community during the full moon to enjoy friendship and reprieve from the duties of daily life. Seems like a good way to handle massive communal hormone fluctuation right? In short, it allowed them a break to contemplate, commune and return to their families and normal duties strengthened and refreshed. As a reminder of this history, we call menstruation a “moon-cycle” in our house.

I’m not suggesting you ignore the family and crash on the couch eating those illusive bonbons we stay-at-home moms are supposed to be munching all day. (Where do I sign up for that?) Obviously, we all have things we have to do regardless of when that mooncycle hits. I simply schedule less and shorten my to-do list to the absolute essentials like feeding the kids and basic cleanup. I stay closer to home, drink plenty of water or  Raspberry Leaf tea, go to bed earlier and get some rest. If possible, I do something just for me – like a facial or foot soaks.

As a result of taking this time for myself, I’m gaining little bits of wisdom about my life and how to live it best. That endless “to-do” list stops playing itself over and over in my mind and I am able to listen to the quiet voice of wisdom. This month, I heard it in the form of two personal revelations that will influence my every day life in very practical ways. Just as importantly, I am rested and ready to tackle the world after a few days at a slower pace. Instead of dragging myself around feeling exhausted, I’ve begun to look forward to this time of the month as a kind of magical time of rest and spiritual reconnection.

We girls are generally terrible at slowing down to rest. We love to detail the long list of activities we’ve accomplished every day. If you don’t believe me, just check Facebook to see which of your friends wrote theirs down today. We excel at accomplishment and it’s something to celebrate. And along with that list of things we accomplish, we nurture, love and hold up those we love in that mysterious way that only women possess. That second kind of women’s work requires that we take time to refresh our spirits. 

Luckily, our bodies send us a calendar appointment each month for that very purpose.

Are you ready to take a lesson from the moon this month and make a monthly appointment for a magical time of rest and spiritual insight? It’s on your calendar anyway.

Know someone who needs to be reminded to rest? Share this post!

This morning, I woke early – too early – to go hiking with one of my very best friends. In fact, I woke before my alarm because my two year old has gotten into this rather awful habit of waking at 4 am and calling, “Mommy, I want to hold you!” This morning (thankfully!), she slept in till 5 but I couldn’t go back to sleep for fear I’d miss my hiking date. That said, I texted my girlfriend and said, “Sure you still want to go today?” Hahaha!! What can I say, it was cold this morning!

When 5:30 rolled around, I extricated myself from my little snuggler’s arms and deposited her safely in dad’s while she loudly expressed her displeasure at my leaving. Undeterred, I kissed her goodbye, bravely stepped out into the brisk morning air and promptly doubted my sanity. It was FAR too cold (and dark) to go hiking. Maybe we could get coffee instead?

At the mountain, my friend and I laughed about the thought of bailing for coffee – no way! – and charged up the path, shivering and giggling at how wimpy we were being. With the fresh, rainy smell of creosote in our nose, we settled into a rhythm and started catching up on the latest events and lessons going on  in our lives. She’s always been that kind of friend to me. Sincere, encouraging, funny – and when necessary – honest. It’s like a mutual therapy session!

Me – after I hiked. Sun in my eyes but feeling awesome!

When we finished hiking and said, “Goodbye!” with a big hug, I no longer doubted my sanity for kicking my butt out of bed this morning. I felt relaxed, energized and ready to start my day.

I need these kinds of mornings. Sure, I get up and walk regularly to keep my body feeling strong and my mind clear. But, sometimes, I need more. I need to make the extra time to see a friend at a ridiculously early time – to tell her she’s that important to me.

I need to know I am strong enough to conquer that mountain – even when I’d rather be in bed. I need to know that I have and am an amazing friend. I need to remember who I am – and take that into my day. So that I can do what my friend Eric constantly says – “Make this day great! You decide how your day will be. Own ur day!”

I’m owning this one. Are you?

Today we returned from a much needed family vacation. Since we want our girls to grow up seeing the amazing country in which we live, we decided to drive to our destination in Colorado. It was a long trip but our kids did great! Our oldest did get a little tired of driving and finally said at the end of the first day, “Mom, I need to sleep in a REAL bed!” Around the same time, our 17 month old decided to amuse herself by screaming at the top of her lungs and laughing hysterically – for A HALF HOUR! Our ears were ringing and our sanity was a little challenged by the time we figured out how to distract her. But, I digress…

We had a wonderful time visiting our family and seeing the sights in Colorado. We stayed with my husband’s Uncle and Aunt – who were amazing hosts. Not only did they feed us great food and provide a lovely and quiet place to stay, they showed us some beautiful and interesting sights – including the Garden of the Gods and the Mountain Zoo. We also hiked a little at Pike’s Peak (as far as you can with a four year old), visited Miramont Castle, a huge 46 room home built in 1895 by a Catholic priest (my geeky history buff side came out!), and walked through the Pioneer Museum. We actually had to leave the Pioneer Museum when our baby discovered that her scream sounded really cool with the echo effect of all the marble in the old building.

But, as much as I loved the incredible views, clean air, museums and hiking… my favorite aspect of the trip – by far – was the love we felt extended to us by our family. We had such a nice time visiting with all of them and our daughters loved playing with their little cousin who lives nearby. It was nice to just relax with all of them and enjoy each moment as it came. When it was time to leave and head home, we actually felt rested and ready to go. Tonight, I’m back home, staying up a little late to enjoy the sounds of my own home and savor the memory of last week. Hope you’re having a great summer too!