this morning
returning from that sacred time
alone
on the trail
where i remember who i really am
i spotted a hawk
high in the pine tree
above my home
and stopped
for a moment
time seemed to flow
as gently as the wind
caressing the highest branch
that rocked the bird
and i forgot i was on the ground
no
it was i
who sat motionless
far above the details
with a clear view of the day
who spread strong wings
and left the safety of the tree
to soar
i wake before the sun
fully refreshed
a unique sensation when one has small children
feeling the thrill and freedom of early morning
with no one yet awake
no one yet needing me –
pulling on my tennies and clothes
i slip out into the dark morning
moving onto the trail with a smile
for the other early birds
like me, seeking solitude
reveling in –
the way the crisp air hits my face
the smell of wet dirt that fills my nose
the vision of vibrant yellows, oranges and reds
draping the trees
creating a canopy over my head
like a secret hiding place
my lungs expand with the movement that
wakes my limbs
and sends my blood racing
i feel open, clear, happy – timeless
full.of.life
i notice everything around me in a way
that is not possible when i am caring for everyone else
this time is mine
and there is only me
i feel the tug of the clock
it’s time to return to the rest of my life
i slip back inside and
my daughter is calling for me
dj mixing it up on the turntable
the visions of local artists lining the walls
fragrant coffee and freshly baked food scenting the air
a line stretching out the door
the energy of people – anticipating –
a cup of coffee
a freshly made pastry
a smile from the barista who remembers their names
a day full of possibility…
I got an email from a former classmate last week. It went something like this, “Dear All (a group of 25 or so people), For all intents and purposes, I’m quitting Facebook. If you want to get in touch with me, email me at this address.”
No problem. She recently taken a break from Facebook. I figured she came back and realized she was tired of it. I was disappointed that I’d miss her rippingly funny remarks and the cute updates she posted about her her kids. We don’t live close so it’s how I kept up with her.
Then yesterday, she showed up in my news feed when she “Liked” a friend’s comment. “Yay!” I thought, “She’s back!”- and promptly proceeded to make some silly remark.
I decided to hop over to her page to see if she’d posted anything new. I typed her name in the search box – but didn’t see her.Weird. So, I clicked her name where she’d “Liked” my friend’s comment. There she was! Oh. I just wasn’t in the friend list anymore. And, I’d been blocked – because I couldn’t actually find her when I looked. Wow.
I have no idea what my friend’s reason was for un-friending me and a bunch of other people in such a cryptic way. Maybe she was felt overwhelmed of the constant status updates. Maybe she feels it’s voyeuristic. It’s completely her choice who she friends and un-friends. And, although it hurt, I really do love this person and genuinely respect her right to make that decision for herself.
However, the experience caused me to think a little bit about how we use social media like FB to connect with friends, business associates, former lovers, acquaintances, random people who found us on Twitter… How those connections or disconnections affect us. Social media can be a bit overwhelming at times. A little revealing, vulnerable. Sometimes painful. Kinda like a social land mine.
Naturally, I have a few thoughts on the subject. 😉
1. Contrary to some of the opinions I’ve seen posited online, FB is not the work of the devil. After all, just like every other delectable possible addiction – like chocolate, sex, vampire novels or great TV shows, it’s best to use these powers for good rather than avoid them completely. I know some of you are secretly shouting, “Yes! Team Edward!!!!” Crazy vampire people. Â Â Â (p.s. Team Jacob!!)
2. FB is just another tool that allows us to connect with people (or not) – like a phone, email, snail mail – at whatever level we feel comfortable. We choose who we “friend” and we choose what we post (just like in “real” life – except this is in writing and it moves pretty fast so you can’t take it back).
3. FB shouldn’t take the place of actual face-to-face human interaction. Unless, you haven’t had any adult contact for 24 hours because you’ve been holed up with sick kids and didn’t even think of chatting on the phone till after 10:30 pm. Then, it’s a heck of a lot better than nothing.
4. FB is great for catching up with old friends and possibly making new ones. I love finding or being found by friends from days and places past and looking at pics of them or their sweet kids – small or grown. I even love the day to day minutia that sometimes gets posted. It’s the stuff life is made of. Unless the minutia includes details of trips to the bathroom. We have enough of that around here without having to read about it. Eeew.
5. The variable number of one’s Facebook friends should not cause serious internal debate about said person’s value or cause long term social concerns. This one stings sometimes right? Being un-friended kinda stinks. But – chances are – if someone unfriends you, you weren’t that close anyway. And that’s ok.
6. A little honesty goes a long way. If by some chance you feel the need to trim your Facebook page, you’ve every right to do so. Just don’t say you’re quitting and let some unsuspecting friend stumble over the fact that he just didn’t “make the list”.
Most importantly, even though our only connection to many of our Facebook “friends” is online and seems somewhat impersonal, remember, it’s not. You know that old saying, “It’s not personal. It’s just business.”? Yeah. It’s like that – and it’s always personal. Remember, there’s still a live human on the other end of that internet connection. Treat them with the same regard for their feelings that you’d use in “real” life. Unless you’re kind of a jerk. Then – be nicer. 🙂
In real life, there’s no un-friend button. You have to do it old school.
