Category Archives: Organic Mama Cafe

Feb 27
0

First Time Moms: What to Expect in Your First Labor

By | Birth Choices, Birth Week, Pregnancy | 3 Comments

As I get ready to give birth again, I’ve been thinking a lot of past labors and how they feel in relation to second and third labors. The first time was SO different from the second both in terms of physical ease and, I think, in terms of knowing what to expect and probably feeling a little less fearful. Since so many of my girlfriends and readers are getting ready to labor for the first time, I wanted to spend a little time talking about this today.

First, it’s really normal and perfectly fine to feel a little fearful of the unknown. Before my first birth, I had some strong opinions about the kind of labor I wanted to have – natural and unmedicated. I wanted to embrace the strength I knew was inside of me, that my mom and grandma and great-grandmother had shown in giving birth. I knew I was joining a sisterhood of women who had done this before me. This strengthened me. I did my research, took a birth class, asked for advice. But…in truth, I was still a little freaked out about the whole, you know, pushing-a-head-out-my-special-place part of childbirth.

The best way to get over fear is to examine it, answer it and move past it. Not only did I face my fear, I  also delivered a 9lb 7 oz baby (yes, out of my “special place”) and learned a few important things about first births in the process. Hopefully, they’ll encourage you!

1.Educate yourself about birth and pick a doctor who fits your philosophy of birth by asking open ended questions. Trust your gut. If you don’t like him or her, switch. Labor is not a time to decide you REALLY don’t like your doc.

2. Pick a hospital with birthing tubs (or, you know, have your baby in your own tub!). Defy gravity in a tub of warm water. If you’re in active labor it will relax you, not slow contractions. You can always get out to birth.

3. Write a friendly (and BRIEF!) birth plan outlining your desired labor for the nursing staff.

4. Lose the term “false alarms” or false labor. Think of those as “warm-ups”. If it’s close to bedtime, have a snack and try to go to sleep. If you can sleep, chances are it’s not time yet.

5. First labors (usually) start slowly. Rarely will the bag of waters rupture all like in the movies while mom falls to the floor wailing in pain. I had several days of contractions where I thought – “This is it!”  – and then things sort of slowed down.

6. First labors can last a long time so mentally prepare for birth to take whatever time it needs. Trust that your body is working just right.  Don’t let anyone pressure you into hurrying. While there are times that induction is appropriate, research seems to indicate that unecessary induction drugs like Pitocin may lead to unnecessary C-sections. Do your research in advance and choose a birth attendant who will respectfully discuss your options with you.

7. Choose your birth team wisely. Hire a doula, a midwife or bring a supportive friend to encourage you and stand up for you during birth. You’ll need the encouragement and your partner will probably appreciate the backup.

8. Stay home as long as you can while in labor if you’re planning a hospital birth. You’ll be more relaxed and you may even progress faster. There are a lot of other things to distract you at home. Once you’re at the hospital, there’s little else to think about other than the labor.

9. Move around as much as possible in labor and if you can, avoid drugs so you can eat and drink in labor. You’ll need the energy.

10. If you get a nurse who you’re not connecting with, politely ask for a new one.

11. Transition is success! If you’re like me and chose the natural route, it might also be entitled the “Holy crap, WHY IN THE WORLD DID I THINK I WANTED A NATURAL BIRTH?” phase of labor. Congrats mom. Remember, if you’re here – you’re almost there. You can do it! You’re close to the finish, sister, so don’t lose heart!

12. The “Ring of Fire” is your friend. It will tell you when to push and when to take a break. Self-directed (rather than doc-directed) pushing will result in more effective pushing and a lowered likelihood of tearing. Don’t hide from the intensity. Dive in and allow it to bring you that much closer to your little one. Reach your hand down and feel for your baby’s head. If you want, have someone place a mirror where you can see your progress.

Girls, don’t freak out about seeing your own vagina. How in the world do you think that baby got there?! You’ll be amazed at the incentive you feel to push if you see a little head making its appearance.

13. Remember – you and your partner are the parents. Unless your baby needs emergency care, you can choose for her to stay with you instead of going to the nursery. (The caveat for this is if you don’t have a private room post birth). When our daughter left the room for weighing or tests, Robert went with her.

A few more thoughts…

As you near birth, something wonderful happens that helps you to overcome your fear (if you’re feeling any). Suddenly, all you can think of is, “GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!!!” You’re big, unwieldy and (if you’re like me), HOT!! I think this is nature’s way of giving women triumph over fear of labor. Go with it! Just keep in mind that your “due date” – is just an estimate! Some babies just take longer to make their appearance. I have friends who’ve delivered more than once at 42 weeks. Patience. Your baby will know just the right time to arrive.

Before my first baby, a doctor explained something about the pain of labor that revolutionized my thinking. Unlike the acute pain of having surgery or breaking a bone, labor is progressive in intensity ~ almost wavelike ~ in the way it moves a woman toward birth. My doc encouraged me that an epidural is not a necessary part of labor. I really held on to her words as I went into that first labor. It worked. With each increase of intensity, I adjusted!

Early labor is a great time to practice getting used to the “wave” with deep breaths and, if necessary, low vocalizing or moaning. Unlike the high pitched, panicked sounds women in television shows make to highlight the drama of the moment, lower sounds relax the body for delivery. My midwife (who I used for our second birth), encouraged me to visualize large, round openings and to think of each contraction as softening the edges of the openings my baby needed to exit.

Most importantly, regardless of whether you’ve chosen a home birth or a hospital one, be flexible and forgiving about how your birth progresses. While you want to be informed and have a plan, birth doesn’t always go quite as we intend. If yours doesn’t, acknowledge it – and then move on. Be in awe of the powerful and courageous woman – YOU –  who spent nearly a year growing a beautiful life and then  delivered it to the world.

That’s right – YOU delivered that baby, not your doc or your midwife!!

Focus on recovering and enjoying that new baby!

I wish you a safe and happy delivery and many years of joy with the new family member you’re expecting.

For more encouragement, read a few “first births” like Gabi’s birth story or my first birth story.

 

Feb 27
0

Birth In the Standing Position, by Lani Axman

By | Birth Choices, Birth Week, Pregnancy | 12 Comments

Have you wondered why so many women give birth on their backs? Do you think trying to push 7+lbs out what is usually a small opening while lying down seem to defy the laws of gravity? Then, you’ll appreciate this post today by guest, Lani Axman, the author of the well written blog, Birth Faith. 


Birth In the Standing Position

Lani Axman

A statement out of a recent Midwifery Today E-Newsletter reminded me of something I’ve been wanting to blog about ever since my doula training in February of ’09. Dutch midwife, Gre Keijzer, explained:

In my view, starting the second stage in a standing position can be seen as a preventive measure against the occurrence of shoulder dystocia. If it does occur, it can be easily corrected without having to perform all sorts of heroic manoeuvres.

I’ve become somewhat obsessed in the last year with giving birth in standing positions. My fascination began when my doula trainer, Mary, shared a handout adapted from an article by Jean Sutton called, “Physiological Second Stage or Birth Without Active Pushing.”
Read More

Feb 27
0

Birth Week Teaser!

By | Birth Week | 2 Comments

I’m so excited to introduce you to just a few of the talented women who will be visiting the blog this week. It’s been a long time dream of mine to invite other women into Organic Mama Cafe to share their thoughts in conversation, just like they would at my home or a local cafe down the street.

So, without further ado, here’s a little teaser of a few of the guests who will be featured this week – Birth Week – at Organic Mama Cafe.  Tune in daily to hear what they have to share!

 

Erin  

Her life has gone from relatively simple to Mayhem, Chaos and complete insanity in the short span of four years. She married the love of her life in 2008, got pregnant, gave birth to twin boys in 2010 and is the tasting room manager for a local winery. She and her husband live and breathe wine, and it’s a good thing…She’s completely given up on keeping her sanity! Just call her Mayhem…
http://justcallmemayhem.blogspot.com/

Lani Axman

Lani Axman put her pen to work for her new-found passion—childbirth advocacy—following the birth of her second daughter. In 2007, Lani created her blog, Birth Faith, where she continues to share her thoughts and research and is followed by thousands of readers each week. Lani became trained as a birth doula through DONA International in 2009 and in neonatal resuscitation in 2011. She looks forward to serving through birth work when her children are older. Lani now resides near Phoenix, Arizona, with her husband, four children, and many beloved houseplants.

 

Latisha Guthrie

Mama. Lover. Herb enthusiast. Writer. Desert dweller. Seeker. But most of all, a Work in progress.

To read more of her thoughts or to learn about using herbs as part of a healthy life, visit her blog at http://herbmother.com/

 

 

 

Leigh Steele 

With a BA in Communication from Ottawa University, Leigh was able to put her life-long love of words to good use as a business writer for a financial institution. After ten years in the cubicle world, Leigh shucked the spirit-draining environment of Corporate America and suited up for a job with the big bosses: as a Stay at Home Mom with a penchant for blogging.

After birthing and motherhood led her to experience her “authentic self” and a rejuvenation of her spirit, Leigh began advocating for women and babies as a birth doula. She currently lives a small and crazy life in the lushness of the Arizona Desert with her three kids and husband.

Read her writing at www.thisholywork.com and leighsteele.wordpress.com.

Alessia 

Alessia Mogavero was born and raised in Italy and was an English teacher for 5 years, before moving to the USA to marry Kevin, in 2005. They live in Phoenix, Arizona, and have two daughters, Keira, 4, and Myla, 2. Alessia is very passionate about sharing personal experiences that can enrich other people’s lives. In this case, she wants to raise awareness on the Tongue-Tie and Frenulum problem, and how important it is to know that a better method is available today, Laser Frenectomy. Her blog is: frenectomytoday.wordpress.com. If you want to contact Alessia with any questions and/or send your ‘frenectomy story’, please send her an email at alemogo@yahoo.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feb 27
0

A Birth ReLOVEution

By | Birth Choices, Birth Week | One Comment

Leigh and I met through a mutual friend and I immediately warmed to the bright light and joyful spirit she exudes. Her writing is full of truth and kindness and I know you will enjoy her thoughts on birth as much as I have!  – Monna

A Birth ReLOVEution

By Leigh Steele 

“To be strong does not mean to sprout muscles and flex. It means meeting one’s own numinosity without fleeing, actively living with the wild nature in one’s own way. It means to be able to learn, to be able to stand what we know. It means to stand and live.” – Clarissa Pinkola Estes

To know the details surrounding my births, one must first know that they were preceded by a conscientious desire to dive deep into the spiritual work of birth.   I suppose this is a disclaimer of sorts for the somewhat abstract and lyrical method in which I tell my story.

My decision was not to VBAC, or HBAC, or to have a natural birth, or to birth at home.   While my last two births encompassed all of those minute details, they were singular in the lessons they revealed to me.

Like a circle of sacred stones laid out before me, I was given the choice to fall powerlessly into Fear – letting it overwhelm me – or to meet the transformational fire of Fear head on.  What emerged from that rite of passage – along with a trust garnered through deep support and evidence-based information – were the home births of my last two children.

It also reconnected me to the elder-women who unfurled their own bodies from their mother’s and, in that one great act of choosing amidst fear, made a home in my very DNA.  This is story of the medicine woman inside of me that is inside of you.  She is unafraid to confidently wrap her heart around her words, speaking from her own place of power, rewriting {her}story.   She names her desires, grinds her doubts into daily bread, and raises her eyes to the horizon as she places one foot in front of the other.  She is unhindered and unraveled and, with a soft heart, walks strongly upon the Earth.  It is, of course, with the medicine of the medicine woman in which I gave birth.

I didn’t embark on this journey as a lone warrioress.  Beside me and surrounding me were my tribe of women who would hold the space for me to address Fear, honor her, and transmute her into the breath of birth.  Within me was a primal knowing, relearned by diving into soul-work that lies at the source of each of us.  In the ancient lineage of our mother’s womb, we were all bestowed an inherent intuition, a shared wisdom.  By tapping into this, I found a freedom to express my most sacred wishes for my baby’s birth.

Our culture may tell you so, but it isn’t new-age, or hippy, or crunchy, or fringe to wax poetic (or un-poetic) about a woman’s authentic power, divine purpose, and tender yet wild nature.  It is our collective truth and to deny it is to rip up the roots your grandmothers planted in their fertile fields.  To mock it is to un-thread the stitches from the quilts that your great-grandmothers wove as they waited for the soup to cool.   We are worthy of feeling firmly embedded in our ancestral belonging.   Looking within in this way offers us a well-loved compass for life’s most challenging moments, including childbirth.

“Every woman who has the karma to bear children has within her the spirit of the birth shaman.  This spirit is composed of the cumulative wisdom of many lifetimes…and also the wisdom she has learned from the women in her family about childbirth and child rearing.  Equally important, the birth shaman contains the mother’s vision of the world and the philosophy she has evolved to survive, learn, and grow in it”.  – Walter Makichen, author of “Spirit Babies”

You see, the woman who chooses to birth in the hospital with an epidural is no different than me choosing to birth my babies in a tub of water at home.   We are one in the same, and particularly in that moment, connected by the altered realm of birth.    We both have trepidations and worries and heartfelt wishes for how we hope our babies are welcomed.  And we each find our way to birth through the channels and people and methods in which serve us most authentically.

The energy it takes to fully surrender to the Unknown path of birth is complex.  We are all in different stages of our life-paths, willing to invest a certain amount of depth and breadth into the story that will be our children’s births.   In the blank space between the words and moans and exhausted smiles are chapters with the same heading:   ReLOVEution.

And the greatest not-so-secret of all is that when we lay down the welcome mat to Fear:  we are all medicine women, we are all birth sha{wo}mans, we are each other’s most mighty allies.

“I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and you laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.” ― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

♥ Inspired by my star-sister Misplaced Mama and the book she gifted us I’m a Medicine Woman, Too! ♥

 

About Leigh

With a BA in Communication from Ottawa University, Leigh was able to put her life-long love of words to good use as a business writer for a financial institution. After ten years in the cubicle world, Leigh shucked the spirit-draining environment of Corporate America and suited up for a job with the big bosses: as a Stay at Home Mom with a penchant for blogging.

After birthing and motherhood led her to experience her “authentic self” and a rejuvenation of her spirit, Leigh began advocating for women and babies as a birth doula. She also recently acted as the Vice President, and a staff writer, for the Arizona Birth Network.  Her latest venture is to gather tribes of women who want to delve further into birth-work with the launch of her doula e-course called “The Holy Work of a Doula”.

Leigh lives a small and crazy life in the lushness of the desert in Arizona with her three kids and husband.  She writes to survive personally and occasionally writes to survive financially.  You can find her rambling here and there.

Read more about Leigh’s work as a doula at http://thisholywork.com/